Category Archives: Mexican American War

Saturday’s Dilemma ~ What about My Own Story?

My-Story-This-is-my-storyObviously from the title, my dilemma is concerning how much I should disclose about my own life. I have been writing stories about my life to leave for my Grandchildren and my new Great Grandson, but they have mostly been funny stories. However, I like many others of my generation, have endured a lot of hardships in my life. Some of the things I have gone through I think #1, may teach a lesson and #2, be like one of those stories we get excited about finding when researching an ancestor! I would like them to know everyone goes through problems, it is a part of life.

I have two main stories I would like to write about, but I am unsure how much to disclose. I would really like some opinions concerning them. I will keep the stories short. Just consider how much you would want to know about something an ancestor went through and how they handled it.

Story #1. My mother had a severe mental illness. It got worse the older she got. She onlyMom 1966 loved two people in her life, my sister and my oldest son. Everyone else was treated badly. Everyone except my dad and I, we received the worst of it. When we lived in Missouri when I was 12-14 years old, she assaulted my dad and me on numerous occasions. She believed he was in the mafia, that our house was bugged, and someone lived under our house (we didn’t have a basement), spying on us through our TV. One time we spent a week going from motel to motel hiding from my dad and his “cronies”. I could tell you things that she did that you probably wouldn’t believe. When we moved to California, she literally rode in the back seat on her knees facing backward to make sure we weren’t followed. When we made it to CA her knees were bruised and bleeding. We lived there for 5 years and she only left the house 4 times, each time we moved. She disowned all of our relatives, my brother and eventually me.

me 1988Story #2.  My previous husband committed suicide, leaving me with 3 kids to raise. I had just turned 31. He had an unshakeable addiction to pornography, and this was his way out. My children knew about the addiction and why he did what he did so it isn’t a secret. Two years after the suicide I started a ministry for women who have been affected by pornography. I have been on national talk shows, radio, newspapers, magazines, a conference speaker and I wrote a book about my life with my husband. I have counseled thousands of women on this issue. I have even spoken to junior and senior high kids about the hazard of porn.  I have always used tact, wisdom, and I don’t go into graphic details. So, how should I approach this story?

Just to make it clear, these would be for my family. I appreciate any and all input. Thanks in advance.


I am a professional genealogist, writer, photographer, wife, mother, and grandma. I have two books available on Your Family History: Doing It Right the First Time and Planning Your Genealogy Research Trip. You can also connect with me via Facebook or Twitter.


Filed under Ancestry, Dilemma, Family History, Family Search, Genealogy, Memories, Mexican American War, My Stories, Saturday's Dilemma, Story telling, Truth, Uncategorized

Freaky Friday’s ~ This Really Surprised Me!

freakyfridayHave you ever found an Ancestor that really surprised you? One you never would have thought could be related to you. Well, 4 years ago I discovered that I am related to General Robert E. Lee. I couldn’t believe it. I had every intention to write a blog about him, but I never did.

Gen RE Lee

I have a lot of Ancestors who fought on both sides in the Civil War. For whatever reason, they really believed in their cause and they were willing to sacrifice for it, even if it was the price of their life. Some paid the price by being seriously wounded during battle and some came home unable to cope with what they had seen and done. I think I didn’t want to write about General Lee because I had a hard time with what he was fighting for.


Gen US Grant


Yesterday, I had a change of thinking. Not because I changed my mind about him, but because I discovered that I was also related to General Ulysses S. Grant. This was one of those “Freaky” moments I have been writing about.


Gen. Ulysses S. Grant                                                             Gen. Robert E. Lee


They are both my 4th Cousin, 7 times removed


They both come from my Hayes family line


They both were 63 years old when they died


They both reached the rank of General by the end of the War


They fought against each other in 11 Battles


List of Battles:

Battle of Fredrick, Appomattox Courthouse, Cold Harbor, 2nd Battle of Petersburg, 3rd Battle of Petersburg, Spotsylvania Courthouse, Battle of the Wilderness, Totopotomoy Creek, Overland Campaign, Siege of Petersburg, and Battle of Richmond.


Lee Surrendered to Grant on April 10, 1865


Both Grant and Lee fought in Gen. Winfield Scotts’ unit during the Mexican American War


 I don’t know about you but to me that is FREAKY!



I am a professional genealogist, writer, photographer, wife, mother, and grandma. I have two books available on Your Family History: Doing It Right the First Time and Planning Your Genealogy Research Trip. You can also connect with me via Facebook or Twitter.


Filed under Ancestry, Civil War, Cousins, Family History, Family Search, Freaky, Freaky Friday's, Genealogy, Hayes Family, Mexican American War, Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, Uncategorized