When you have lost someone that meant a lot to you, it is hard to pass the date of death without feeling sorrow or even depression. Also, when some traumatic events happen in your life, that date can bring up unpleasant memories. Well, this is why I hate the month of June. I have experienced both of these scenarios, both loss, and traumatic events during this month. Did I mention I hate June?
The first incident of loss was on June 25, 1968. The only Grandparent I ever got to meet died on this day. The event that caused his death happened 2 weeks before. My step-grandmother had purposely pushed him over the push mower he was using to cut the lawn. He had refused to take some medicine the doctor had prescribed so she struck out in anger and shoved him hard. He fell backward over the mower and broke his neck. He lived on life support for those two weeks and it was traumatic for a 12-year-old girl to see him lying there like that. He was 85 years old at the time. My aunt who witnessed the incident was too afraid to tell the police what happened so Nellie never had to pay for what she did.
The second incident of loss happened on June 24, 1974. My beloved day died after a nine-month battle with lung cancer. How a person was treated for cancer back in those days was nothing like we have today. They literally fried his body with radiation and large doses of chemo. His right lung was removed. It was a horrible thing to watch a once strong man turn into a skeleton. He died at home in his bed. I can still visualize the events of that day. My mother happily came into my room and woke me from a deep sleep. She wanted me to come and see that my dad was dead. She was so happy (she was mentally ill). When I saw that he was indeed dead, I ran out of the room crying. That day is one I will never forget.
The third event was I got married on June 11, 1977. It turned out that this man I thought I knew had some dark secrets and he was extremely abusive to me and the children, After 9 years of marriage I told my pastor I couldn’t take it any longer. When he was confronted by the pastor, being told he had to choose between having his family and serving God, or being exposed for his abuses and pornography addiction, his response was to commit suicide.
Number four was the loss of my second Grandson. My daughter went into labor too soon and we rushed her to the hospital. There we heard the heartbeat and we were both excited and scared. A little after midnight on June 9, 1997, DeShaun was born and died within minutes. We got to hold him and our daughter, we were the wounded trying to comfort the wounded.
Event number five happened on June 16, 1999. My mother had fallen and broke a hip. She was sent to a nursing home and there she died. I hadn’t seen her nor heard from her in over 13 years as she had disowned me for marrying a Hispanic man (we have been married for 34 years now). I was just one person in a long line of family members my mother had disowned over the years. She had done the same to both her and my dad’s families and even my much older brother.
Event number six was actually an exceptionally good one. My youngest granddaughter, Pebbles, was born on June 25, 2006. She is beautiful and smart. She has brought us such joy. I am grateful for this one redeeming light that has helped me make it through June for the past 14 years.
Each June on each of these days I think about the people I have lost and the events that brought each one about. I try to remember the good times or find something good that has happened because of these circumstances and find a lesson that I can learn from them. Even though I feel less pain as the years go by, I still hate the month of June! Is that Freaky?
I am a professional genealogist, writer, photographer, wife, mother, and grandma. I have two books available on Amazon.com: Your Family History: Doing It Right the First Time and Planning Your Genealogy Research Trip. You can also connect with me via Facebook or Twitter.